


if you don't feel like you're dying {then you're not doing it properly}

by thoughtsinplaces



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: angst angst angst, humanity? who needs that, possible 6x10 spoilers?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 21:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2747687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtsinplaces/pseuds/thoughtsinplaces
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>it's easy, just flip the switch and it all goes away;<br/>the pain<br/>the hurt<br/>the lonely ache</p><p>grief can do terrible things.</p><p>[my thoughts on the implied 6x10 character death]</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you don't feel like you're dying {then you're not doing it properly}

**Author's Note:**

> wanted to write this out, no where near as eloquent as I wanted but I'm tired and have to go decorate a christmas tree. no idea who would kill Liz, not really Enzo's style since it would hurt Caroline more than Stefan (unless Enzo wants her to blame Stefan?) maybe it's Kai? but like talk about random.
> 
> either way, i think Caroline would be a hella bad ass with a flipped switch. like a ripper meets boss ass bitch.
> 
> please share your thoughts;

             When you start to drown you don’t realize it at first, but it’s the surprise that causes you to panic. You flail about, limbs slicing through the wet nothing looking for something or someone. You’ll try and hold your breath, you’ll try to save yourself, but your body can only function without oxygen for so long. Eventually your body will revolt, your lungs will expand, water will seep in and you’ll give into the darkness.

             Grief is a lot like drowning.

             “Caroline,” Stefan says.

             He holds her as she sobs. Tears silent and heavy slide down her face, as she never loses sight of the disaster before her.

             “I have you,” he says again, his voice full of comfort and care.

             She would have given anything to have been in his arms like this yesterday, but now with her mother’s body lying mangled and cold across the floor she feels as though the price was too high. His embrace feels like barbed wire but she is frozen, consumed by a wave of despair and anguish. She struggles to breath in it as her gaze ghosts over the wide unseeing look on her bloodied mothers face.

             “I’m alone,” she says. Her voice wails softly, like a groan. It bubbles out of the darkest part of her. Her mother, her friend, one of the last pieces of her is gone and it’s all her fault. She couldn’t save her.

             “I’m right here,” Stefan replies, his grip tightens and he tucks his head closer to hers.

             “I can’t- I have to turn,” Caroline whispers as she struggles against his grasp trying to sit up. “It hurts too much.”

             “Caroline, calm down.”

             She’s fast though, elbowing him in the ribs—no doubt cracking a few and he doubles over, she slips through his fingers. He’s quick too and catches her as she begins to run.

             “Caroline, you can’t run from this,” he begs her.

             “Everyone I love is gone. My dad, my mom, Bonnie-”

             “Caroline.”

             “I’m alone Stefan and I can’t-”

             “I’m here Caroline, I’m not going to leave you!”

             “I have- I have to turn it off.”

             “What, no- Caroline,” Stefan says. “You have to listen to me.”

             He takes her face in his hands, turning her to look into his gaze his own eyes glossy and lost. They reflect the same sorrow and uncertainty.

             “You can’t just turn this off and run away. You’re better than that.”

             “I’m sorry.”

             “Caroline, please!”

             Stefan battles against her, slamming her against the wall holding her tight in his grip. She struggles in his hold before she winds her arms around his middle pulling him into a hug. He peels himself off her, his hands smoothing back her hair to see her face. She tries to smile, a few stray tears clinging to her lashes. She runs her hands up his shoulders, then quick around his neck snapping it to the side in her hold.

             “So over that,” she says moving over his crumpled body, picking up her discarded bag on the way towards the door.

             “Well Liz, it’s been real,” Caroline says side stepping the body and turning off the lights as she heads out the door and into the night.

             She isn’t sure where she is going, but she it’s going to be as far away from this place as possible. She always wanted to travel now nothing was stopping her, but first she needed to make a pit stop.

          _She was starving._


End file.
